This is probably going to be the last part of this love series. Rejection is something that everyone hates to talk about. Nonetheless, many can relate to possibly the worst feeling that someone can experience.
Ah yes… We’ve all been there. If you have loved, then you were rejected. At the same time, you rejected someone. Rejection has been present since time immemorial. It has pushed the greatest writers to produce their masterpiece. It has inspired the greatest musicians to create the songs that we’ve been hearing for decades. From it, the most refined actors draw emotion and power.
I might have gone too far on the previous paragraph, but you will agree with me when I say that rejection is powerful. And oftentimes, it is misunderstood. Sometimes, you have the urge to fight on even though you were rejected many times already. I know that in life, you have to keep on getting back on your feet no matter how many times you fall. But, is that true in courting and relationships? When will you know that enough is enough and that you have to move on?
For me, the answer is simple. When she says no, back off. You really have to hear the word “no” coming from her mouth. “I’m not sure” doesn’t count. It’s like a job interview. If you don’t get a job, they’ll tell you. Some may sugarcoat it, but it’s still a no. If you hear the company say, “I’m not sure,” you’ll still hang on, right? So, for those who don’t know what to do with their ambivalent prospects, just ask the question. HOWEVER, you have to be realistic. You can’t ask someone if he or she likes you or not if you barely talk to each other. You must be entitled to ask the question.
The Issue of Friendzone
For those who have discovered the internet yesterday, allow me to explain what the friendzone is. It is an imaginary place for people who have never passed the “friendship” stage. I imagine the friendzone full of hatred and regret. Hatred from sheer frustration being put aside and regarded only as a friend, and regret because the friendzone is a point of no return.
The friendzone creates a stigma for many. Nowadays, I see a lot of people who want to bypass the friendship stage. The trend now is to just go straight to the basket and hope to score a point. Come-the-fark-on. You all know that this is just stupid. If you want to win someone, you have to make friends with that person. You can’t avoid it. If you want to get out of the friendzone though, be clear with your intentions. If you show that you’re only good as a friend, then that’s all you ever will be. And of course, grow a pair. There will come a point that you have to cross the bridge. Be prepared to meet the consequences though. If she friendzones you, then move on. If not, then you’re one lucky dude.
Worst case scenario: The Acquaintancezone
This is something that my workmate and I formulated. SHOUT OUT TO YOU! The acquaintancezone is a step lower down the friendzone. It means that she doesn’t want to be friends with you, but don’t want to look mean. In an attempt to keep your (and her) dignity intact, she considers you an acquaintance. Yes, you know each other, but you’re not exactly her friend. By all means, please do not fall into this!
Men vs Women
Let me share a slightly firsthand experience in this. Here is how I depict the scenario:
Setting: The Office
Characters involved: Boy, Girl, and a cameo of Girl’s best friend
Month 1: Boy was trying to make moves with Girl’s best friend. Girl’s best friend is cold as ice.
Month 2: Girl enters the company.
Month 3: Boy falls in love with Girl because they both like .
Month 4: Boy professes. Girl says no.
Month 5: Boy fights on. Girl still says no.
Month 7: Boy assumes that girl is just waiting for him. Puts his feelings on paper. Girl is confused.
Month 8: Girl was left with no other option but tell him he has no chance. Boy has no choice but to accept.
Who do you think lost this war? At first glance, it seems that Boy got the short end of the stick because his feelings were totally ignored. But what about Girl? It might not be apparent, but I bet you that she was affected in this issue. Take note that this happened in the workplace. It’s hard to be around with someone you had an awkward experience with, let alone work with that person.
I can list all the things that went wrong in this scenario, but I choose not to. Here’s what I take from it though: learn how to assess the situation. It doesn’t matter if you really like the person. You can’t assume that you have a connection because you have something in common. Everyone of us has something in common. For example, we’re all going to die. And like what I said in my early argument, when the girl says no, stop. Don’t be stubborn, as it worsens the situation.
In conclusion, I say that no matter how rejection hurts, it happens. What we have to do is to take it as a learning experience and adapt, so we won’t be losers next time. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. I hope none of you gets rejected!
Disclaimer: I am merely saying my opinion. If you disagree with me, I would love to hear your points. Keep it respectful though!