Valentine’s Day is upon us. I’m sure lots of you are excited to celebrate. At the same time, lots of you don’t care.
I’ll be doing a series that only talks about love. Yes, the universal topic that everyone can relate to. Whether you’ve been in a relationship or not, you have felt love one way or another.
Okay, I’m not going to discuss the metaphysics of love. Rather, I’m going to share you a very personal experience. My girlfriend and I have been discussing our plans on V-day. Here’s how the conversation went (this is through text):
Me: Honey, do you have a class on the 14th (she’s reviewing for her board exam, by the way)?
Her: Yeah. And you have work, right?
Me: Uh-huh. So we probably won’t be spending Valentine’s day together.
Her: Most probably.
Me: So, do you want to celebrate it on the 16th?
Her: Sure, if that’s what you want.
If you’re a guy, you know that something’s gonna go down after the dead air. Being the suicidal freak that I am, I dropped the bomb and asked her, “Is there something wrong?”
She said, “Valentine’s day is on the 14th. If we go on a date on the 16th, then it’s only a regular date.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Never thought it would escalate that quickly. There’s one thing that I should clear out first: we weren’t having a fight. Me and my girlfriend are just open to one another that we immediately tell if something’s wrong.
And so, I try to remedy the issue. I said, “Tell you what, I’m not going to work on Valentine’s day, so we can spend some time together.”
Thought that would fix things. Apparently not.
She replied, with a tone of remorse and guilt, “I feel bad that you said that. I didn’t say that we should celebrate on Valentine’s day. I’m just saying that it would be nice if that’s what happened.”
At this point, I told her that I was merely planning our schedules, so no conflict would arise on that day. If I know my girlfriend, she has an open mind to such things. After a few minutes, we’ve come to terms. And when everything was settled, I excused myself because I need to get to work. She had a couple of errands to run, so she bade goodbye as well. “All set,” I whispered to myself.
Or that’s what I thought.
I was having my break when I checked my phone. She told that she couldn’t sleep (I work the night shift) and needed to talk to me. I was a bit petrified. “I want to talk to you” isn’t exactly what a man would want to hear, especially when Valentine’s Day is around the corner. Even so, I didn’t want her to feel bad about anything. Hence, I swallowed the lump on my throat and faced “The Talk”.
As it turned out, it wasn’t horrible news. She told me that she was very uncomfortable because she thought she was forcing me to do stuff that I don’t want just to please her. “It’s not fair to you. I don’t like being treated that way.” I didn’t know what to say after that. I’ve heard lots of stories about men complaining their wives/girlfriends being too demanding. Instead, I have a girlfriend who wants me to stop trying too hard. I told her, “Don’t worry honey, I’m not forcing myself. I just want to give you a memorable Valentine’s Day.”
It’s clear that she was happy with my answer. She wished me good night and got back to sleep. I proceeded working with a huge smile on my face.
I’m a very lucky man. It’s hard to find someone who fits well with you, let alone maintain a relationship. I can say that this is the happiest relationship that I’ve been in. We built a foundation of trust that has helped us to be open to one another. We can say what we want and don’t want without feeling guilty. That’s the best thing someone could ask for.
Stay tuned for the next part of this series!